Ok. Babies. Growing up, babysitting my siblings...I always told my mom that I was never going to have kids. (Now before anyone gets too excited or nervous, I am NOT pregnant.) With that said...babies and raising them has been on my mind so much lately and it's driving me crazy. I want children. Eventually. Who am I kidding? I want one now, but then again I don't. Ugh. Having a baby right now would not be good for either me or my husband. We still have so much learning to do with each other. Not to mention the fact that we both have some growing up to do; I feel like I jumped into raising a teenager, anyway, when I got married. Ha! AND while there are many money-savers....we don't have money to raise a baby. And we haven't even figured out how to save money properly with just the two of us.
The best thing for us is to wait. I know that. I just can't seem to shake the feeling that I should be talking about how far along I am, craving strange foods, and going to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Maybe it's the fact that people used to tell me what I great mom I would be. Maybe it's the fact that the majority of my friends have either had a child within the last 2 years or are currently pregnant. I don't know what else it could be. I'm 21. My biological clock should not be ticking so loudly! I know I'm not ready to have a baby, to raise a child. I know that. I do.
Maybe school will help keep my mind occupied. *sigh* Classes started today. One of my classes has me completely overwhelmed already. I'm taking 3 classes, but there is so much work already! In my counseling theories class, my first paper is over my personal philosophy of human nature. It's due on the 29th. God is trying to tell me something with this assignment...and I have a feeling it's going to be hard road. See? Who has time for wondering about the future when I'm trying to focus on times a little closer at hand?
If you made it this far, thanks for reading my jumbled thoughts. Moms: I will work at the school from 9-2 or 3 depending on how many days a week I work. As of right now, I'm working at Domino's as well (2 - 3 nights a week)...but I'd rather babysit...seriously. If any of you might have some regular times you want to get away and leave the kids with someone...or if several of you want to pay me to watch your children for a few hours... :)
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