The Good Shepherd

My devotional reading today was about being a good shepherd in today's terms. The "Life Question" at the end of the devotional asked, "What have you sacrificed for the sake of another person?" That question stomped down pretty hard on my toes. I stopped to think about it and I've been pretty selfish lately. Not only in dealing with the people around me, but in my time with God. This summer session I will be attending Church of Christ services each Sunday morning for a class project. This past Sunday I used that Sunday morning service as an excuse not to go to my church Sunday night. I have also been skipping out on choir practice to "do homework" which hasn't been getting done, even though I honestly have every intention of working on homework when I say that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in order to be a good shepherd, you have to learn to be a good sheep. Isn't it wonderful that even when we stray, our shepherd will always come find us?

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep." -John 10: 11-13 (NIV)

Facebook/Twitter Addiction

Good morning, friends!

I have been off Facebook and Twitter for 3 days. I, honestly, feel better already. It was a little awkward when I would try to text Twitter or a Facebook status and then remember that I'm not supposed to be posting, but I'm sure that will get easier. It's funny now because I think, "The whole world doesn't have to know that you just cooked an amazing dinner!" So far, I've found myself to be less stressed since I'm not constantly checking to see what's going on. I can just sit and enjoy actual face-to-face, real, live company! Ha!

It helps that we don't have a computer at home and that my phone has a terrible browser (since it's 3 generations behind) so I don't really have a chance to get on Facebook and Twitter. Which is good, because when a person is going through withdraws it's good to have little or no access to the offending obsession/addiction.

Anyway, guess I better get back to my homework. Today began Week 3 of 5, so I better get to it!

Lemon Water

Today is June 7th, 2012. I'm half-way through the year and I'm only 2 lbs away from my BEGINNING weight. Yippee. Ha! Honestly, I'm not as upset about it as you might think. A good friend of mine taught me the "Fake it til you make it" mantra and that's been pretty much my motto for the past day or two. Today especially. Today I've found several things that could make me very angry/upset/annoyed/frustrated/sad...pretty much any negative emotion, but I refuse to let it get me down. Even if it does, I'm going to act like everything is okay, because, you know what? In the end it will be okay. My God is bigger than all this mess going on around me. So when the world gives you lemons and you don't have any money for sugar, just grin and bear it. It's hot enough outside that people will buy your lemon water for $0.25. Just keep the ice coming! (Haha, I'm not sure where that metaphor came from, but I'll go with it.)


The song that keeps playing in my mind is that Veggie Tales song "God is Bigger than the Boogeyman." While that song is mostly about fear, it can be applied to any problem. God is bigger than it all and "He's watching out for you and me!" I may have gotten myself into this mess, but I'm positive that one way or another, God can use it to His advantage. 

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." -Psalm 28:7 (NIV)

WARNING: Blog Under Construction

Sooo...if any of you have checked out my blog since, oh...February, it's pretty much looked like this. Half-way finished. I promise I'm working on getting it fixed, but since my home computer is currently getting fixed after I dropped it (yes, I dropped it), it might take a little longer as I can't see the full page when I'm here at work. Haha, but I am working on it.

Jealousy

I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this before, but these thoughts won't leave me alone lately. I really want a baby. I get jealous every time someone tells me (okay, maybe they just tell all of facebook, but you get my point) they are expecting. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them and glad they are allowing God to bless them with an addition to their family, but that doesn't mean I'm any less jealous.


And for the record, no, we are not trying to get pregnant anytime soon. I just want a baby. If we thought we could support another addition into our family, we would be trying. We both want kids. But we aren't comfortable adding another life into our household right now. I'm trying to get my master's degree and only working part-time and Clint's job barely gets the bills paid. We aren't hurting or anything, but we would be in a very rough spot if I was to get pregnant anytime soon.


Now, back to my ramblings. Several of my friends are pregnant or have small children. As I said before, I am happy for them. All of them. I just... I don't know how to deal with my feelings of jealousy. I don't like being jealous. I'm tired of being jealous. I don't know how to get over being jealous. I know that my jealousy gets in the way of me showing my happiness for them, but how can I show my happiness when that green monster won't budge?

"Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming but who can stand before jealousy?" - Proverbs 27:4 (NIV)